Lesson 10-3Q

Sabbath Afternoon

QUIET DESPERATION

(What connection do you think the following illustration has with the Bible texts in Wednesday’s section?)

Depression affects 121 million people worldwide. It is responsible for 850,000 deaths each year (www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/07/ 110725202240.htm, accessed January 10, 2013). As you read the next two illustrations, what do you think they have in common?

STORY 1

C. H. Spurgeon is known for being one of England’s most powerful preachers. However, throughout his ministry and quite often, Spurgeon found himself drowning in seasons of deep depression. Some of his despair grew out of physical ailments causing great stress and discomfort. In Prince of Preachers, Arnold Dallimore wrote: “What he suffered in those times of darkness we may not know . . . even his desperate calling of God brought no relief. ‘There are dungeons,’ he said, ‘beneath the castles of despair.’”

Spurgeon, in spite of his struggle with depression, found enough courage and hope in the pages of Scripture and through fellow believers to press on to his calling in life.

STORY 2

Another story is told about a young Midwestern lawyer who suffered deep bouts of depression. Often the darkness of the challenges that faced him was like a dungeon keeping him captive. His depression became so severe at times that his friends prudently kept all the knives, razors, and dangerous tools completely out of his reach until he could manage. So often he questioned his life’s calling and doubted whether it was wise to try to see it through. During such a dark season he wrote, “I am now the most miserable man living. . . . Whether I shall ever be better I cannot tell. I awfully forebode I shall not.” But the darkness did not overcome him, and somehow Abraham Lincoln found the encouragement and the fortitude necessary to press through to the other side of the darkness. Over time, the success and the victory stood in stark contrast to the darkness he felt in his depression, making Lincoln one of the most beloved and human presidents of all time. (Moody Bible Institute, Today in the Word, December 1989, p. 20, in C. R. Swindoll, You and Your Problems Transformed by Thorns, p. 58.)

Sunday

HERE’S WHAT I THINK

• Susanne and Alexandra are partners for their science project in school. Susanne feels frustrated because Alexandra has been absent from class a lot in the last week. “Where have you been? I heard you were sick,” Susanne inquires. Alexandra replies, “I haven’t been feeling well. My parents think I’m depressed. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I just don’t feel like I can do anything anymore.” Susanne gently answers, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” Alexandra looks off into space and states, “I don’t think there is anything anyone can do to help. I’m not really sure any of that matters, anyway. I understand if you want to get a new partner for the project. I’m sure I won’t be able to do much.”

• Which parts of the conversation speak volumes of hidden cries for help? By this conversation, can you tell if Alexandra is suicidal? What are the nonnegotiable steps to take? What should a person say and do?

• Log on to www.guidemagazine.org/rtf to post your responses. Be up front and honest. Say what you think.

Monday

WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SAY?

Different people, different opinions. Some of the quotations below represent the views of true kingdom citizens; others may not. Can you tell the difference? How do these statements compare with what God is saying in His Word? After reviewing the texts in the God Says . . . section of the lesson, write a statement that captures your belief. Be prepared to quote yourself at Sabbath School.

•  “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”—Henry David Thoreau, 19th-century American author, poet, and philosopher.

• “Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live.”—Charles Colson, American Christian leader and author.

• “The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering.”—Ben Okri, Nigerian poet and novelist.

• “In most cases, suicide is a solitary event, and yet it has often far-reaching repercussions for many others. It is rather like throwing a stone into a pond; the ripples spread and spread.”—Alison Wertheimer, writer, researcher, and counselor.

• “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”—Phil Donahue, American media personality, writer, and film producer.

• “Drunkenness is temporary suicide.”—Bertrand Russell, 19th-20th-century British philosopher

Write your own quotation.

What I say is . . .

Tuesday

SO WHAT?

On Facebook a student made a derogatory comment directly at a classmate. The remarks may have been an attempt at humor, but the words were aggressively threatening. Some students who saw the initial post began to comment, and others chimed in, adding to the conversation. With each post the recipient became even more ashamed and embarrassed, and now he is afraid to even show up at school. Line after line the participants parried back and forth, heightening the intensity and brutality of the words. The digital attacks were displayed in public for everyone to see. What if the student who received the cruel remarks felt as if there were nowhere to go? How often do you see similar situations? How should those of us in the church respond to those who are attacked? What do you think you should say or do? Is there anything to be said or done with the attacker in this scenario? How would Christ expect His disciples to answer this problem? Here are a few suggestions from the Bible: (Read and choose the three you think apply to the situation above.)

Romans 15:7 Philippians 2:3 James 5:16 Galatians 5:15

1 Thessalonians 5:15 Galatians 6:1, 2 Hebrews 3:13

Wednesday

GOD SAYS . . .

John 13:35 (NIV)

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 33:27 (NIV)

“The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

Psalm 9:9 (NIV)

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”

Psalm 34:4 (NIV)

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”

John 10:10 (NIV)

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

John 14:27 (NIV)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

John 15:13 (NIV)

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Thursday

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?

• As you go throughout the day, begin making a list of people you can begin praying for and reaching out to. Choose the ones that seem to be more alone than others, and extend a message of friendship to them. You may simply ask them how they are doing, or perhaps you could make a positive comment and bring some affirmation to their lives.

• Think of another group of people to add to your prayer list. Sometimes the ones who seem to have it all together and are well connected, successful people need the kind of Christian friendship that comes without strings or expectations. Who are the ones in your sphere of influence that might be under well-disguised pressure? Begin praying for opportunities to reach out and give encouragement to those who don’t seem to need it.

• Finally, stand up for someone who is bearing the brunt of slurs and sarcastic remarks. Gather a group of friends who can agree to the importance of coming to a victim’s defense. Be willing to confront those who antagonize others. And finally, always inform an adult or a teacher/leader of your commitments that they might be a source of wisdom and support for you.

Friday

HOW DOES IT WORK?

• If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to confront them. But talking openly about their thoughts and feelings can save a life. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously.

• Activity: Read the list of warning signs and identify the three that you think would be easiest to signal (E) and identify the signs that would be the hardest to notice (H).

WARNING SIGNS: What to listen/watch for 

_____ Talking about killing or harming oneself. 

_____ Talking or writing a lot about death or dying. 

_____ Seeking out things that could be used in a suicide attempt, such as weapons and drugs. 

_____ Talking as though things in life are “hopeless” or about “unbearable” feelings. 

_____ Demonstrate dramatic mood swings. 

_____ Exhibiting sudden changes in their personality, such as shifting from outgoing to withdrawn or well-behaved to rebellious. 

_____ Displaying a loss of interest in day-to-day activities. 

_____ Showing an abnormal neglect of his or her appearance. 

_____ Revealing noticeable changes in eating or sleeping habits.

What to do if you notice a family member or friend displaying suicidal signs:

1. Speak Up: If you’re unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask. You can’t worsen the scenario by showing you care.

Here are some questions you can ask:

• Have you ever thought that you’d be better off dead or that if you died, it wouldn’t matter?

• Have you thought about harming yourself?

• Are you thinking about suicide?

2. Respond Quickly: If a friend or family member reveals that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, you must evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide plan, the means to carry out the plan, a time schedule for doing it, and an intention to do it. Even if they demonstrate any aspect of the above—respond.

The following questions can help you assess the immediate risk for suicide:

• Do you have a suicide plan?

• Do you have what you need to carry out your plan (pills, gun, etc.)?

• Do you know when you would do it? If any of the above is evident in your conversation, then you must seek help on their behalf.

3. Offer Help If a friend or family member is suicidal, the best way to help is to first offer an empathetic, listening ear. Let them know that he or she is not alone and that you care. Don’t promise to make everything better or offer that things will improve. Neither should you promise confidentiality. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to professionals in order to keep the person safe—even from themselves. They need outside help and your job is to make the call.

You can offer support, but you can’t get better for a suicidal person. He or she has to make a personal commitment to recovery. In the meantime, you need to help them get to a safe place.

• Call a person in authority and/or a crisis hotline. Do the work now to know which agency in your area responds to suicide situations. Have the number written down somewhere handy. Now is the time to prepare for such an emergency.